Woots.

Another post here in such a long time. Kinda miss blogger :S
Anyhowwwwww.

Toodles ;D

Moving over to wordpress... For idk how long..

Don't like the smallness of my font hahah.

Click here!

Pretty scared for O's now. Like seriously.

Lol sad to say, the fact that I　might not be able to get 6 points suddenly dawned on me!! (i know, wth right hahaha)(but eh, cmon, high achiever okay! (or trying to act at least))
It's almost as if I was living in illusion the whole time...

Gosh.

SS, Lit, Eng, Phy, Chem, Chinese.... Arghhh.

These are gonna kill me man.
Meh heh...

Okay, tmr gonna get back Phy and Chem and Egeog and Chinese.
Im scared for my L1R5 ):

Cleo Cleo Cleo Cleo please study harder!!!
Slacker Cleo sleep, Hardworking Cleo emerge!!!!

I'll fill in the gap for them after O's

Ready for some thinking???


Sigh, it's really amazing what emotions can do to you, right?

It can make you feel like you can overcome anything - srsly anything - as long as you tried.
It can also make you feel like anything you try would fail and has been failing..

And it's also amazing how the devil knows how to manipulate your feelings to deceive you into believing all those emotions of yours. (which are actually, most of the time, false.)
Idk what happened, but I lost my principle of "principles over feelings" (which kinda appeared on my msn nick for quite a period of time last time).

Well not really lost, but it doesnt play the biggest role in my life now. (not that i chose it this way, more like other choices overlapped it)
Rather, I think now emotions and feelings get the better of me. (it sucks srsly)

One moment im like so optimistic & jovial & wanna do everything!
Then, when something disturbs or makes me disappointed or smth, all the optimism that seemed so realistic then becomes impossibility.

I'm like, how in the world did that optimism and drive come and go so quickly??? (& then, awww..wish you were here...) nah kidding not so gay, but argh.

But i now realised, that the devil has very cleverly & subtly manipulated my not-so-worded brain and made me turn the focus to the not so important things. (mainly feelings)
Slowly & very slowly, he shifted my focus onto these things and showed me 'light' into being able to sense the slightest of atmospheric dryness or things like that.

& using the fact that i am not worded in God enough to fight these thoughts, he magnifies them and shoves it in my face. (which makes life difficult and very uncomfortable)

I feel like Laura (from GM) now wtheck. Haha.

But anw, now i know better.
Get yourself worded in God, & back everything up with a verse.
I'm serious. Seriously, serious.

Doing that now, to bring myself back up to competency.
It's hard though, considering the fact that im one who learns ways and methods through watching..(well ain't everyone, actually?)

So when certain behaviour or actions suddenly doesnt seem consistent, i am affected cos in a way, my 'principles' are affected.
because when i see things and derive people's principles by how they do things & they are good & right, they naturally add to my principle/methods bank (in my brain la of course).

So when the person suddenly doesnt follow the principle that has been evident (to me at least) for so long, i feel like im cheated & that what i've been following or doing hasn't been right all along.

Well okay this 2 paragraphs above is just drawing out a strand of my thoughts.
It's a subtle one that I dont really Think about, it just forms in my head..(those kind.. yknow what i mean?)

But now im drawing it out to focus on it & just clear all flaws & also to better understand how 'Cleo' works. hahah.

Well, actually, can anyone identify with me?

Actually, it affects me, not directly like how i would continue to function and everything but it just makes me feel very very uncomfortable when the source of that principle is opposed by the source himself/herself.

It's like "Dude! I was learning from you! & now you're doing the opposite?? So all along has it been the right thing or not?"

Okay, so this is my 1 train of thought.
I think it's rather confusing.

But i think it does make sense.
Sorry if I left you starry-eyed after reading this long chunk of things that you couldnt make out..

But anyway, i'm off to do QT!
If you can identify w me pls tell me hahaha (& tell me "you are not alone..")

Oh goodness, that song during the MJ concert kept playing in my head when i was having SS prelims & the image of the woman hugging MJ kinda scares me..

Ok if you dont know what im talking abt, its MJ's concert. (dunno which one haha)

Today, I had suuuper bad cramps :<
It started from like 2+,3, then at 4+,5 it was at its peakesttt (hurt like some torture scenes from SAW).
And the best part was, we were supposed to have CG today at 4!):

In the bus on the way to commonwealth, I was turning white, like srsly, pale.
Then I was hugging my bag and crouching (what's the word?) in pain & I kept shifting about to find a neutral position..
Omg I bet the contractions were like 760 mmHg or smth, atmospheric pressure man. (Eh i just saw on wiki, its measurable haha)

We reached commonwealth and I had to go to the toilet, so zuoz suggested Koufu.
So we went in and the toilet was full (& stinky too)!

But they were all v nice people and trying to help, like "put down your bag", "sit down and rest first", "drink some soup..." hahaha.
They were damn cute.

I know my face was like some emoticon, but dont mind me, I was actually smiling inside hahah.
Ok, maybe inside inside. (x2)
Inside(x1) pain like what liddat.

Yeah but anw, they sat me down at one of the tables and I was like squirming from the inside out. Well not that exaggeratingly, but somewhat like that.
Fidgety and everything. They were the nicest people in the world!!

Haha (w no order) thanks Zuoen for trying to help me ease my pain by giving me tips to hug my bag etc haha, wanting to help carry my bag, supporting me while walking, buying toilet paper for me (can you believe it?! toilet paper, the toilet roll kind, is to be bought at 10c! come on man..) & buying pills w char!
Clara, for getting me the hot water from the aunty at 20c, twice.
Charmaine, for being so serving & getting pills for me from idk where!
Jessie, for being my support (physically) and actually held my hand all the way while i slept! Haha i didnt realise lolol.

For everyone for just being there and like, idk man, just helping me w everything even though you couldnt feel the pain i was feeling (:

Hahah, sorry guys we couldnt have cg today ):
What an irony haha, your CL spoiled cg lolol.

But really, they've just brought me back to life & motivated me to do even more.
Haha when I see how these people just so willingly sit and just talk while I slept [& that we didnt have cg in the end (ah i really feel bad over this!)] made me feel so loved and thankful to be in CC4! (:

Haha it changed my perception of things (why didnt yall tell me you were actually so loving people?!) hahah and made me love them more more more (:

Hahah, if it was me, I dont know how i'd have reacted too.. But I really think what they did was an awesome breakthrough & it surely was a new experience to me (:

But I think this cg was the best planned one.
God himself planned it(: Theme, love <3 haha.
& he sure answered my prayers by using me :S and teaching me how to love.
It was still semi formal & everyone had a role too!
I was the agenda, in this case hahaha.

So yay! Thank God for today's CG, it really spoke to me a lot and i did learn from it as well (:
It was:
1) practical
2) brings out the point: "spirit is caught, not taught"
3) had abit of element of fun i guess? (lol what did yall talk about man!)

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it is not self-seekingm it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Hahah i think we managed to cover a few aspects of love today!!! (:
Yay good job, yall! Hahah.

Thanks again CC4 (:
When mother nature calls, we know it's father nature who called her.
(Sigh sigh haha)

The Story of the Lost Sheep (dramatized)

Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'

God just reminded me of the shepherd and the one lost sheep – the shepherd, knowing that the sheep was lost, left the 99 others and went to look for that one missing sheep.

Even though it was only one sheep, that one sheep mattered a lot to him as well. Thus he didn’t want to miss him out. He was willing to go out to find him despite knowing that he may not find him ever again. He gave his energy and strength and efforts to bring that sheep back to where he belonged. He knew the struggles and fatigue he has to go through in order to find this sheep, but he couldn’t bear to leave him. After all, it was his sheep and it had grown up under him. With the victory over the last conflicting thought, the shepherd took his rod and staff, waterbottle and a little sheep nip if he managed to find him, and set out on his search for the lost soul.

Well and from the sheep’s point of view, the sheep didn’t even know he was heading for danger. Or perhaps ignorance and curiosity got the better of him. He just walked and walked and walked. Well soon enough, a mishap did happen. The sheep had a terrible fall, stumbling into the edge of a hanging cliff as the ground he trod on broke loose and gave way. And at this point of time, the sheep must have been extremely afraid, frightened and terrified, hoping that he shouldn’t have done all those and starts to curse and swear at himself for being such a dimwit for not listening to the shepherd. He just hopes and hopes that the shepherd hopefully will come and save him. But after all the disobedience, would the shepherd come? It was hard to say.

But alas, the shepherd did come! And the sheep is really touched and amazed. The shepherd looks at the sheep with such love and compassion that his rod and staff didn’t even appear! The sheep was teary-eyed. The shepherd then walked over to the sheep which could have very well fallen off the cliff if not for a loose branch lodged between him and the oh-so still air beneath. The shepherd’s shadow loomed over the fearful one and the sheep watched the shepherd with such anticipation. Is he going to push me over? Is he going to kick me like a ball? Is he going to reprimand me for not listening?

Is he going to save me?

The tension of the moment came, as the shepherd reached out his hands towards the sheep, with fear and trembling, the sheep felt the warmth of the shepherd’s hands under his belly. At that moment, he knew and knew all too well, that the shepherd was his hero.
The shepherd pulled him in to safety and dusted away the twigs and leaves that got caught on the sheep’s fur. Then, with all gentleness and TLC, he prepped the sheep on his shoulders, making sure it was comfortable and not in any form of pain. As he walked, he caressed the sheep, talking to him as he did. “Dear little one, why were you so silly as to wander off on your own? The whole flock’s worried sick about you! But there there, you’re alright now. I will nurse your little wound there as soon as we get back.”
“Mehh,” the sheep replied in a soft voice, knowing that his shepherd loved him even more than he did himself. He was safe in his arms, in his warm embrace.

The sheep felt so loved, so cared for, so special, that nothing could ever replace this feeling in his life. This very small act that his shepherd had done, touched him deep down under and it will never be forgotten, ever. Any thought of leaving the flock vanished from his mind because he knew that in this special flock, there was this shepherd who loved him too much. The shepherd who truly cared for him and there was no one else out there that he could find that could ever replace this shepherd, this love in his heart.



It just makes me think about how I've been a good shepherd to those around me.
Do I go all out for them? Do I treasure them the way He does?
Can I comfortably say that, yes, I've impacted someone in this way, so much so that a life changes?

I love 4G3!!! (:

(esp the joy in this picture!)

Happy National Day y'all!

To love - genuinely
To serve - w perseverance
To grow - consistently
To mirror Him - photocopyingly

(:

I cannot risk getting my path messed up and vision blurred.
Really.

A few things I need haha: (aka you could get these things for my belated bday HAHA)

Personal growth needs:

- BOOKS!!!! (dang, im under-reading. jeya scolded me for aiming A1 for O's now i know why hahah)
If anyone has a good read, pls share!!!!
(I know many of your closet bookworms are out there, stop hiding pleaseee)

Well I dont prefer anything, as long as the english is good and its not a bimbo book with no substance haha, anything would be fine (:

Then the next kinda books would be those from:
John C. Maxwell, Joyce Meyer, Lee Strobel etc etc.

I am currently interested in books abt thoughts, people growth, improving skills, motivational... etc?
I dont know what else is available ):

Currently I have with me (borrowed):
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership - John C. Maxwell
Developing the Leader Within You - John C. Maxwell
Winning With People - John C. Maxwell

Haha well I think his books are popular, huh?

Hmm, yep yep! (: I think I should start reading more now.
Otherwise I'll be forever stuck at this stage of growth and also at the mark of 21/30 for all my essays ):

So if you do find any good reads or know of any, do let me know!
(oh, by the way, recently i saw that borders had 20% on all John C. Maxwell's books.. Do you think you could go check it out?)

Well, it'd make a good and useful bday present (:


ok moving on,
Non-Personal growth needs:
- New backpack
- New pencil case
- New pens hahaha


Lastly,

I am thinking of selling my Nikon D40x!
Not sure how much yet, but if you're interested, do let me know! (:
Selling price will be nowhere near cost price so, fret not.



Okay, just a quick one ^^

Thank you all you peeps for making my bday a great one (:
Thanks for all the smses and wishes!!!
(I saved them in a folder in my phone teehee)

It was really touching cuz many messages came from people whom I hadn't been in contact with for quite long (and to think they still rmb!!! awww..), even though they prolly had facebook reminders and all, but nah, doesnt matter.

And I felt so happy cos I had contact with people I didnt talk to for so long again!
One of my friends owed me macs since sec 1 when it was my bday hahaha.

Thanks CC and those who planned (im guessing CC4 and some others?) the entire amazing race I had around meridien. I bet around 2-3 rounds..
Hahah even though yes.. At the end my hair became permed and I almost touched someone wrongly when I was blindfolded (!!), it was fun walking around HAHA.

Firstly cos I couldnt see anyone (so that's pretty much self denial)
and secondly cos 'random' people said happy birthday! (:
thridly, the deception that took place during the whole week (or at least on saturday, huh char & hua?) HAHA.
Well charmaine cant lie well, but thats good (:

and lastly, the beautiful cake the clara had made. the design improved from last year man! good job!!! (: (will post pictures when i have time HAHA)
plus the cards (and the initiative behind it) from some people i dont really know very well.. thanks!! (:

ohohoh! and feli! HAHA for holding the blindfold stuck to my head the entire journey (or at least i think so?)
I was wearing heels so her arms wouldve died i think, but idk what happened hahaha.

YAY so thanks peeps!!(:

[this is a brief one so i just recalled the things i can rmb, which mostly are the funny, touching or embarrassing stuffs ^^]





Anw, about birthdays. I went for Mx's bday party and I felt inspired hahaha.
That birthdays should NOT be celebrated for the sake of it, really.
A real celebration that is genuine would show. (like how you really love the person so)
So like, during her bday, she booked this restaurant/cafe place and invited friends.

The nice part about the whole celebration was that her friends had prepared an 'item' to perform for her.
there was guitar & singing, dancing to a song just for her x 2 and sorta a game played at the start & it was funny and fun.(the guess who's secret? game)

Yeah, the whole thing was enjoyable la, even though her guests didnt know each other.
We all bonded coz of her. Haha.
Idk, I felt it was sincere and the people who prepared the item did it out of their own accord and didnt have other people to direct them as to what to do.

This i find many times happening in the unit or the cg.
People do what they are allocated to do and nothing else.
We do it for the sake of it & not because we really love the bday girl and wanna make it the bestest day in her life..
Which is kinda sad luh, cos after the whole celebration,everyone just absorbs into their own world again and do their own things.

To me, if you really wanna celebrate a persons bday, do it well and to your best.
Celebrate, celebrate the whole time you're with her and not just during the "bday celebration" time, if you get what i mean. Haha.

If every bday was like that, it would be such a nice and enjoyable sight to see & occasion to celebrate, dont you think? :>

Oh well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ART! I hope you enjoyed your day today!!! (:

i dont understand..

feel extremely dead and irritated. haha.
wish God would just tell me now whats wrong & how to solve it then can move on with life.

many a times we need to take a step back, and then look on our own lives from Gods pov.
then we wont speak rashly, we wont be too quick to judge, we wont fall into things so easily, we will start to learn, start to grow.

and when we grow, we are going to be caught up again in getting our imperfect lives right, and thats where we focus too much on something that we start to miss out on God and His plan. then again we got to take a step back and look at our lives and reflect.

but actually, i think reflecting is something that should be done daily.
it should kinda be a subconscious thing that you dont even realise you were reflecting.
thats helping yourself grow and learn.

you dont need extended hours with your shpd, leader etc sparing thoughts and talking,
you need extended hours with God having constructive conversations, and then perhaps a day or two with your shpd of deep sharing and learning.

because people wont be there for you forever, only God will.
if all is stripped away, no ones gonna be here with you, only Him.

so we all gotta learn to find enjoyment and security in His presence.
not for His sake, but for our own sake. (well then after that, for His sake]

hate the sin, love the sinner.
this is the hardest thing ive been going through.

haha well, price paid for love was high, of course it takes alot to earn the ability to love. thats why the world is in the mess its in now aint it?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELIIIIIIIII!!!!!!

Hope you had a good 16th {: I enjoyed your 16th though hahahha yay cya tmrz!

Some sneak previews ^^

Ma'am Stamford Raffles!


Really got super alot of photos, wait patiently ah people, patience is a virtue (: